"They Told Me
I Could Not Run...."
(Testimony of my God-daughter Hanah who lives in Malaysia)
"....let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith...."
I am Hanah Malar from West Malaysia. It is amazingly wonderful to share with you of how the Lord has touched my life.
This article is for the Glory of God and nothing is focused on my personal talents. It is because of our Risen Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, I have attained this achievement. Praise be to the Lord alone. Amen !
I am a Malaysian Indian, and was born into a Hindu family who worshipped idols. When my mother conceived me, she intended to abort me yet the Lord remembered me and saved me even while I was in mother's womb.
My mother passed away in 1979 when I was 13 years of age. Though I had sisters and brothers, I was left alone most of the time as my father was a very busy medical officer. During this painful time I prayed one night not knowing about the true God, yet I cried for God’s answer upon my life.
One night, out of depression, I prayed to the unknown God and pleaded that He would answer my prayer. Amazingly, that very night, I had a dream and I saw a Cross shining brightly on my face and I heard the voice of the Lord Jesus telling me that He is the answer to my prayer. Being very young and innocent at that moment, I wondered who this Jesus was all about, but I had this faith in me that He would be the Savior of my soul. During that time, there was no one to guide me in God's Word and I did not have the opportunity to attend a church.
From my youth I have loved to run. I love sports so much that I would imagine myself being a champion running a race. During my school days, I was never a runner though I would qualify during trials.
I was not given the opportunity to run a race because my father, who was a medical doctor then, insisted that because I had a weak heart I should not run. To make matters more complicated, when I was 16 years of age I was hospitalized and diagnosed as a heart patient, as the doctor told me I had the heart of a 40 year old woman. It was thus so evident to me I had a weak heart that my desire of being an athlete ended there.
So, I thought I could only admire other athletes and never be one.
Some years later I was working as a secretary in Proton, a giant corporation which holds sports activities yearly with its subsidiary companies. The contingents from all the 20 companies would join together and have a real sports week in various places according to their sports events.
I used to admire some of my friends who participated in the mini marathon (5 kilometers). I desired so much to join them, but then again I was reluctant because I had a weak heart.
I was a secretary in the public relations department and was directly under a manageress and two deputy managers. My work load was too much. I can still remember the times when I was at my office late past midnight and still had not finished all the work which had been assigned to me. That was really tiring as I had to be at work again at 8 a.m. the next day.
While I was at Proton, I had this heart problem again and I was sent for a medical test. The specialist confirmed that I had a weak heart and I needed much rest and as little stress as possible.
Being only 24 years old, I felt my life was so dull and restricted. I wanted to break away from this situation and change my condition. I wanted to be different. I was tired of being called a weak-hearted person.
Even my company (Proton) has a record under the HR department that there was this particular secretary in Public Relations department who had a weak heart. What was worse was that all the other secretaries in the various 24 departments of Proton came to know that I had a weak heart.! That was really sad.
In Proton, secretaries are expected to be 10 steps ahead of their superiors at all times and should be able to provide facts and figures at anytime needed. We needed to be very alert and energetic at all times. I noticed that other secretaries had been talking ill about me and even condemned me that I am not fit to be a secretary at this busy Public Relations Department which dealt so much with all the dealers from over the world.
Once, when I returned to my office after a medical check up, my manageress was concerned about me. But an assistant manageress sarcastically said to me that they predicted I would die soon! That really hurt me. They had a very low opinion of me. I really wanted to change what they were saying about me. When I walked around in my company, some people would give me a sympathetic look. I hated that. I am not weak and I am not going to die young. No....Never. I needed a change.
Then came the announcement for the next Company Run, which was called the HICOM Games. It was a popular game in Proton and all the subsidiary companies joined this event. I desired in my heart to participate for the 5kms race and wanted to represent my department and company.
I was training on my own during the weekends and noticed that I was not that bad or slow and I realized the more I ran the better I felt in my heart. I could feel proper blood circulation passing through my heart and I enjoyed feeling healthy in my heart. Glory to God!
The selection form came on my desk and I wrote my name on it. To my surprise the whole company knew that I filled in my name for the selection run! Oh…………..that was really a very sensitive time I had.
There was this particular assistant manageress who came to me and told me that I should not participate in that selection because it will be an embarrassment for the Public Relations department as it was so obvious that I would not win the race. I told her that I would participate and I had the liberty to do so. No one could stop me.
The company's potential runners complained to the Proton In-House-Clinic that I was trying to run the race and requested the physician by the name of Dr. Chellepan to check on my medical history and, if required, to stop me from running the race in the fear that I might die!
Dr. Chellapan, being an athlete and a Champion for the HICOM games under road races in the Men's category for Proton, came to my office one day. He was such a kind and understanding man. He understood my passion for running the race and he called me to his office and encouraged me very much. But he told me that I needed to run a test run with him first as he wanted to observe how I responded to the run. After the run that evening, the good result was, that he told me my speed and my breathing techniques were good That was really a booster for me and his statement really gave me the confidence I needed. So I qualified for the selection. I was the only participant who was tested before the company selection!
On the selection day, I saw many other runners of my company who would participate in the HICOM games. I was afraid though because they looked so strong and big. As I was standing there, the onlookers from my company made some hurting remarks…"Hei, that girl is a heart patient, what is she doing here at the selection" - and they even laughed at me so much. They told me not to disturb the other runners etc…etc…. What an insult!
But none of their statements hindered my passion for running the race, though I was really weak in my knees. No moral support at all except for Dr. Chellapan. He looked at me, patted my shoulders and said, "Just Run! You can do it!" Yes, it is true I can do it , I thought to myself and just called on the name of Jesus.
"On your mark, Get Set…..Go!" The gun shot….and all the runners ran and I ran too. But I realized that the other runners overtook me and were right ahead of me. They were running a 5000 meter race like a 100 meter race. I was thinking to myself….hei…, you have another 4900 meters to go. Reserve your energy…come on….! But I maintained my speed.
As I continued to run, I was becoming stronger and I noticed that all the other runners were becoming weaker. And I was running constantly, determined to overtake all the other runners who were in front of me one by one until I reached the first runner who had been earlier so far ahead of me.
I ran and paced with her for a while and I realized she was tired. Then I told myself, I am going to overtake her now and I sped up so far away from her that I could not see her from behind and I continued my race until to the end smoothly running very strongly. No one was ahead of me but I was the only runner on the road! Where were all the others?
As I came to the finish line….there was silence…everyone could not believe their eyes that I came in first. Well, I could not believe myself! But, after a while, the whole company started to clap so much and Dr. Chellapan was so happy and told me, "I know you could do it…, I am proud of You"! Yes…, I did it. Yes, yes, yes, praise the Lord! God was with me…., within me! Amen!
I was selected for the HICOM games. I ran the first HICOM games with all the other seasoned runners of my Company and from the subsidiary companies. There were some runners who were in the other companies who were under the Malaysian State level.
To my surprise on that HICOM race I managed to overtake the best Malaysian State runner. That was really amazing. I never imagined even in my wildest dreams that I could overtake that Malaysian State runner. She was formerly the HICOM Champion. But, Praise God, this is a miracle for me. How did I ever manage to be the Champion? It is God who had given me such strength. Glory to His Holy Name.
I became the Champion for the HICOM games that year. That was the beginning of my life to be known as an athlete and a HICOM Champion under the woman's category.
Everything changed in my office. Gone were the days the staff members would call me "The Weak Heart." Now they had a new name for me: "The Iron Woman, The Track Queen of Proton."
Everybody began to love and adore me so much. I become the most famous secretary in Proton and all the other managers would praise me to my manageress. All the people who had been talking nonsense about me before, admired me so much as if I was a celebrity.
Even the head of Proton would acknowledge me when I passed that his office and would call me by my name and would congratulate and encourage me so much and told me that I brought fame to Proton as my timing during my runs were far better then all the other runners.
I continued to run for HICOM games for every year and have been a champion all through that time.
I was selected for Malaysian open runs and international runs too. Ever since then, I have run many road races in Malaysia and have been listed among the Top Ten in the Country. I majored in 10kms and 26kms.
Finally, my childhood dream had been fulfilled. I am an athlete!
Today, as I sit and ponder about my life as an athlete, I have every reason to give glory to God alone for He has been there with me during my trials and pain. When I cried, He was there with me, when I was lonely and afraid, He cared for my fears. He understood the desires of my heart and fulfilled them. He walked with me, holding me and uplifting me in my spirit. He chose to lift me up knowing that I was weak and without Him I would surely perish. He chose to love me first and showed to me that He is strong and mighty. He was strong in me during my weakness and transformed me into a very determined bold woman who is able to endure every arrow that flies her way. I never experience that weak heart anymore, for He lives in my heart and He is strong. Praise the Lord!
I now run a race for the Lord Jesus Christ. All praise and honor to Him who is mighty and powerful. What a wonder miracle-working GOD we have. AMEN!
At the age of 21, I married a Hindu man without thinking or realizing much of the consequences which I may face in the future. At the age of 22, I gave birth to my daughter and again I almost died on my delivery bed yet the Lord remembered me again and saved my life. Praise God, I was under the care of specialists and I survived! God's grace and mercy was upon me then, though I did not really have a close relationship with the Lord during that time.
My father passed away within 2 months after the birth of my daughter. After about 2 years, I felt very dry in my spirit. I knew there were things which I have been doing which has been very displeasing to the Lord. I had another dream of the Lord and I saw Him in His passion nailed to the cross for my sins and I heard His voice telling me...."Daughter after all that I have done for you, why haven't you trusted in me"?
That dream has really brought me back to my senses and I have realized how wrong I have been in my attitude and confessed to my husband that I am actually a Christian in heart. My confession of my faith to my husband has brought many painful trials and heartbreaks and persecution from my husband and family. Yet I hold on onto this hope which has carried me on to this very day. I have seen many troubles and attacks of the enemy, yet I am standing strong for the Lord is strong in me.
My husband does not permit me to go to church or even invite any Christian friends to our home. Yet my faith in the Lord grew day by day as I worship Him in the prayer room of my home.
Another amazing wonder the Lord has done for me is to use me as His vessel for His Kingdom. It is truly a miracle for me when I think a person like me who is not able to attend church or fellowship with other Christians, yet the Lord would make me a blessing to bless others in another foreign land.
By His wonderful grace, the Lord took me to India in May 2002 and made me to be a blessing to a Pastor who is ministring in a very remote poor village in Southern India. God by His mercy, blessed me with some finance to help this Pastor in building a Church in the village. By His grace the church building was completed on 11th July 2003 and many souls are won for Christ in that village through the guidance of this pastor.
God's word is so very true in my life. I still remember, I once received a prophecy that the Lord would take me to places where few have gone and I have pondered much on that prophecy yet God is very faithful in accomplishing His will upon my life.
Over the years, I have longed so much for a father’s love. I know I have a Father in heaven who loves and cares for me. Two years ago, I had a very painful time within myself and one night especially I cried to the Lord so much for his hands to hold me and really longed for an earthly father. I so wished for a father in this world who would represent God's love to me. It is a miracle and an answered prayer when I came in contact with my "Papa Paul" who I came to know later also prayed for a daughter some years ago. I have this assurance that God has brought us together and has built this holy relationship as a Father and daughter. I am so blessed by this gift God has given me (a Papa) apart from Himself my Father God in heaven. God by His faithful wings took me to visit my Godfather in West Virginia, USA, on 19th October 2003. My Godfather is a such blessing to me in my life. I know it is God's will that I should have this love of a father in the flesh, which is representing God's very love to me.
I am very thankful to God Almighty because, even though my husband does not allow any Christians to visit our home, but his heart is opened to receive my Godfather! I believe it is God's will upon my husband's life and I am waiting eagerly to seeing God's hands to work upon my family and relatives.
All glory to His Name alone. Amen
"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."
Hanah with her medals
Simple Psalms for the Simple-Hearted
Testimony of an Ex-Atheist
(Testimony of Hanah's God-father)